Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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