he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
