you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
