what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
