hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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