your thong is hanging out like whoa
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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