think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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