so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
