Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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