Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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