so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
