I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize