I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
