I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
