I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
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Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
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We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.