I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize