How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
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That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up