I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
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Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.