would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...