Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
