yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
