halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
