I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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