she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
