when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
