I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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