tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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