Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize