last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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