...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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