Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
