You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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