from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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