I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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