At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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