He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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