We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
