there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My vagina is very pro this idea
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
