Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
