Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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