My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
A+ Viking dick
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
