There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
