Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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