If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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