I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
