I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she told me i tasted like america
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
