SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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