Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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