So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
