We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i dont even know how to be here
I have surprise drugs for everyone
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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