One girl and one boy is just not enough.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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