are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
