i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She told me I should be a condom model.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
