omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
