I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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