If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
