Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Even my vagina gasped.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
