i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I can't turn off my feet"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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