that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Pants 0. Shit 1.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize