do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think your dad took our porno
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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