That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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